In a country where the divorce rate is growing exponentially, it is only fair that people begin to take a skeptical view of marriage as a wretched institution. Well, put that whole divorce business aside and just look around or hear the stories of those in your close circle. How many couples are there who are dissatisfied with their marriage? Surprisingly a lot!
This is not a general rule, nor can we assume that all married people are by and large not happy, but we must also recognize that devastating marriages and threats of divorce are on the rise. This actually raises so many questions and makes us start to wonder why. Is it because people fall in love? Does the pile of responsibilities and chores kill the romance? What is it really that makes a marriage drift away?
The answers to this question can be found in many underlying problems and indicators that we ignore or that we may not notice.
Find the cause, choose
For many, marriage is a checklist, not just a matter of love and compatibility. To further illustrate, a man decides that a woman is a wife material based on her household skills, limited exposure to past relationships, and a willingness to minimize her open-minded social life in order to bring her attention to the household, husband, and children to judge.
On the flip side, a woman finds a man who makes good husband material because of his social status and ability to fund a luxurious life full of Instagram-inspired vacation destinations and fancy gifts.
Basically, some people go to so much trouble to find the spouse who fits all social norms and beliefs and forget to wonder if this is the person they want to be happily with for the rest of their lives!
Marriage is not a decision you make just because you have to settle down or because you are afraid of growing old alone. Marriage is a permanent commitment to a partner, not because they tick all the boxes on your checklist, but because you choose that person for the rest of your life every day when you have to make up your mind again.
We see marriage as the ultimate destination, not the beginning of a new journey.
Not to generalize, but it has become very common in Egypt lately for couples to invest so much time and energy in planning the wedding and honeymoon and once the knot is tied they seal the deal without discussing it how to keep a happy marriage. Marriage is not the end of the journey, but the beginning of so much more.
As with everything in life, marriage requires care and hard work; and in order for it to remain happy it must be looked after. Think of it this way: can you earn the promotion you want without having to work hard and sometimes go the extra mile? The answer is no. The same goes for relationships and marriage. There has to be devotion, devotion, and caring every day.
You cannot find a happy marriage. It is something that you have to build and create
First and foremost, you won’t create a happy marriage if you and your partner are not on the same wavelength. Yes, so compatibility is key. Your view of life, your values and your goals need to be aligned, otherwise everyone will move in a different direction.
With the obvious, it’s completely deceiving not to admit that there are challenges any marriage can face, but it boils down to how you deal with them and whether the two of you are willing to put your ego aside and try To find middle grounds. Only through understanding, harmony, compromise, and unwavering love will the road feel less bumpy.
To sum up, marriage, like everything else in life, is not always rainbows and butterflies, there will always be defeat, but it comes down to how you deal with these challenging moments. Will you both make the same effort to overcome the storm?
Before you decide to marry any person, you need to be sure that they are who you want to grow old with, who you want to live with, and who you want to be through thick and thin with.
Look past the wedding and honeymoon phase and wonder if you are ready to accept your partner in the worst case scenario.
Before getting married, have honest conversations about having children and raising children, managing your finances, career goals, shared responsibilities and duties, dealing with struggles, and the deal breakers.
Communication is key and respect is an important pillar. Be transparent with one another, kind to one another, and compassionate with one another.
Make living together the way you are both happy, rather than the way your families and society would like.